genre: non-fiction, self-help
I have a dear sister who has a PhD in marriage and family therapy - so when she told me that this book has crucial ideas that can improve any marriage, I knew it would be worth my time.
I was right - and so was she!
Hold me Tight is about Emotionally Focused Therapy - EFT. It is a way of looking at relationships through an attachment lens and the book actually walks you through a therapy experience. In addition to a lot of anecdotal examples, there are exercises throughout the book that partners can use to begin finding the sort of deep connection that can exist between two people whose attachment is secure, even if those two people have really struggled in their relationship. I love the vocabulary this book gave me for talking about emotions and the various unproductive interactions that couples can have. It’s practical and SO hopeful, so resolution- orientated, it makes you feel like marriages really can be as deep and beautiful as we can imagine.
So much of this resonated with me. SO MUCH. I read it with a pen in hand - ideas about safety and vulnerability, moving past blaming each other to fighting against the sorts of cycles and conversations that derail connection, it felt DOABLE. Like I could see myself and my beloved partner using some of these ideas to move towards an even better relationship. It made me want to be more honest with my own part in whatever issues arise because it validates so many different kinds of issues people in relationships can have.
Powerful ideas, very worth reading. The only reason it gets 4 stars is because it took me so dang long to get through it - but I do think that's because it's meant to really be used as a resource.
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