In Limbo by Deb J.J. Lee

genre: graphic memoir/coming of age

I picked this up off a table at the library advertising books from a Korean perspective.  And while the author, known in America as Deb, lived the first three years of her life (while as an adult the author goes by they/them, in the book Deb uses she/her) in Korea, she then immigrates to American with her family.  This separation from her extended family and her family's native culture is at the swirling heart of this novel about mental illness and the pain of not knowing how to feel like you belong anyway. The art is powerful as Deb struggles to figure out where she can find peace on her own terms.  Her relationships are tricky, especially with her mom, and I wish I'd gotten to know more about her mom's own issues.  Clearly something is going on there.  

I have so much compassion for Deb and for all those for whom belonging feels like an elusive fantasy that can only happen for certain people.  I know I've been in that space myself but my struggle was not so dark and deep.  I'm so glad Deb is still here to tell this story and give hope to others who feel this same kind of pain.

Wild Dark Shore by Charlotte McConaghy (audiobook)

 genre: contemporary fiction/thriller

When Rowan washes ashore on a remote island not far from Antarctica, she can hardly believe she's alive.  The island IS remote - but it's not empty.  A father, Dominic, and his three children are caretakers of the lighthouse and while there used to be teams of researchers using this island as a base - they are no longer there.  With tides reaching ever higher and storms that can break even the strongest spirit, Rowan knows staying on this island isn't sustainable - but what in the world to do about it?

I wish I'd known that this was the same author as Once There Were Wolves, because I would've listened to it sooner.  I adored the writing in that book and this one did not disappoint.  I felt like I was there on that wild island, watching as our changing climate brings the kind of destruction our planet maybe cannot come back from.  The plot wasn't fast moving - but it didn't drag for me at all.  There were so many questions that weren't answered how I'd anticipated.  It's very character driven, as we experience the present and learn about the past through the eyes of Rowan and Dominic but also the children.  It is heartbreaking (truly) and surprising and sometimes incredibly moving.  There is death here, and loss and a wild desire to save what can still be saved.  It is not for the faint of heart, this book, but it made me feel deeply and the audio was truly well done.

Gone Before Goodbye by Reese Witherspoon and Harlan Coben (audiobook)

genre: contemporary thriller

For Maggie McCabe, being a surgeon was the culmination of every dream.  But to be a surgeon alongside her beloved husband, Marc? Helping refugees and other truly unfortunate people in the most underserved of places?  That felt like a gift - until it wasn't.  And now being a surgeon is no longer a choice for reasons both beyond her control as well as squarely on her shoulders.  When an old acquaintance comes to her with an opportunity that might make her feel like herself again, Maggie really wants to take it, common sense be damned.

And there is a lot of that in this book - "common sense be damed."  Maggie is trained for Army combat, so she has skills beyond her competence in the OR, but still sometimes I got too much of her stream of consciousness that left me with so many questions.  But here is the thing - this is the kind of story that has a thousand questions right from the get go and it does a good job of leading you astray, telling you just enough to keep you interested.  While I feel like it was not particularly well written - often quite wordy and bordering on cheesy, it DID hook me.  Like, I listened to it in about a day and a half.  I liked the secrecy and the searching for answers.  The ending was confusing - I wasn't positive I understood it all until I looked it up - and definitely a twist, but I can't say it's not satisfying.  This is NOT the sort of thing I usually listen to but I appreciated the fast pace and plot twists.

Dancing Into Battle: A Social History of the Battle of Waterloo by Nick Foulkes

 genre: history

What did I know about Waterloo before I read this book?  Literally as much as I could glean through the Abba song.  Embarrassing, I know.  But NOW?  I've got it!  I understand why it matters so much and I understand why it is a turning point.  I genuinely enjoy social history and this is a perfect example: yes, it is about the Battle of Waterloo, but probably two chapters are about the battle itself.  Mostly this book is about all the people who are involved and how they are all woven together.  It's about British society and being an ex-pat and how by 1815, war was like...an aristocratic past time.  It's fascinating and horrible.  It is hard to wrap one's brain around how complicated communication was during this period - how you'd find things out days and weeks after the fact or how in even one day's ride you could hear seven different "true" accounts of the same experience.  

The author's tone is sometimes sarcastic in a way I enjoyed.  He's clearly British in how he rips his own to shreds but then explains why they are all adored anyway.  I think I can appreciate now how so much of the British "vibe" can be traced back to this one particular window of time.  If you enjoy history centered around individuals and the roles they played in big world events, I think this is worth reading.

33 Place Brugmann by Alice Austen (audiobook)

 genre: historical fiction

An apartment building can be like a kingdom unto itself.  In the Belgium capital of Brussels, 33 Place Brugmann is filled with people from all stages of life.   On the cusp of what will become the second World War, suddenly WHO you are and WHERE you are from and WHAT you think about the Nazis is suddenly going to matter very much.  Told from the points of view of many different residents, life in an occupied city is deeply complex and our main characters find themselves making moral decisions with far reaching consequences on an almost daily basis.  

I tried this in paper form before quickly deciding a full-cast audio might do better to help me keep all the different narrators straight, and I was definitely right.  I have read so many different books about this time period that I appreciated this one's focus both on Belgium and on the intricacies of civilian life among both majority and minority groups.  Some narrators made me so uncomfortable, it's so hard to know who to trust sometimes and while you just want everyone to be a kind and aware helper, there are always people who side with the antagonists.  That's just the unfortunate world we live in.   The writing easily kept my attention and while the ending is a bit abrupt, I found myself always eager to spend time in this building, seeing the world through the eyes of its unique and memorable characters.

The Ferryman and His Wife by Frode Grytten , Alison McCullough (Translator)

genre: magical realism

The Ferryman, Nils Vik, has lived his life on the water.  Up and down the fjord his boat has traveled, ferrying people for every kind of circumstance and the stoic Nils has stood as witness to everything from birth to death.  So when he knows his time has come, he takes one last trip, gathering the ghosts of those who were a part of his life for decades or for one unforgettable journey.  He remembers the way their stories wove with his own to create the tapestry of his long life.

This spare and meaningful story ends so tenderly.  The excellent translation captures the stark beauty of the landscape and Nils's absolute knowledge of where he belongs - on the fjord, in his boat, with his people.  You can imagine him so easily, at the helm, and then when we get snippets of who is inside, it's so moving.  I definitely recommend the audio for pronunciations and for the gruff voice of Nils's beloved dog that joins him on his final crossing.

Mona's Eyes byThomas Schlesser , Hildegarde Serle (translator)

genre: contemporary fiction 

Mona's life in the suburbs of Paris has been a fairly ordinary one. She goes to school, where her friends are always ready to play whatever imaginative game comes to them. She spends afternoons in her father's knick-knack store and most especially, she looks forward to spending time with her beloved grandfather, Dadé. One afternoon, Mona suddenly loses her sight and doctor's are unsure of what's happening to her eyes. With the possibility of future blindness for his granddaughter, Dadé makes a decision. He is going to make sure that Mona has seen the treasures of the Museums of Paris before that happens, so that if nothing else, she can have the memories of art in her mind to reflect on if the worst happens. 

You know what this book reminds me of? Sophie's World by Jostein Gaarder, which I read back in college but still think about. While that book goes through the last two thousand years of philosophy, this book goes through the same process with art. There is a plot, of Mona and her family and friends and how it impacts her, but always there is then a visit to an art museum where she learns about one piece of art and the lesson it can teach us. It is didactic yes, but that works SO WELL for me! I WANT someone to tell me about art as if I'm a ten year old, to explain the history of the artist, their zeitgeist and context and then weave it all together with whatever comes next. .  This is practically an art history text interspersed with a novel and the interplay sometimes astounded me. I had to read with my phone nearby so I could look at the art while reading what Dadé was teaching Mona about. Sometimes Mona seems too intelligent for her age, but then I remember that I have met kids like this, so sensitive and aware.  If you enjoy art and art history as well as tender stories about grandparents and grandchildren, then you this might enjoy this book as much as I did.

Beasts of the Sea by Iida Turpeinen , David Hackston (Translator)

genre: historical fiction

I don't know how I ended up reading TWO books in the last month that are about Alaska and its' wildlife, but I DID! And I enjoyed them BOTH! Have you heard of Steller's Sea Cow? Because I never had and after reading Beasts of the Sea, they are now swimming around in my brain.

The skeleton of one of these enormous creatures is at the heart of this book that takes place in the frozen and remote places where wild things can exist. Well, they can exist until humans find them and then all bets are off. As we move through time we meet scientists and travelers, collectors and hobbyists, illustrators and diarists, many of whom have dedicated their lives to exploring the uncharted. I got lost in this novel every time I started listening, and although some of the unfamiliar Scandinavian names never particularly stuck, I was always able to get on sound footing, wherever the narrative took me. While this is a novel, not nonfiction, there is a lot to learn here about how humans have impacted the environment and the fauna that call it home.

One of the huge takeaways that's swimming in my brain along with the Sea Cows is the deeply upsetting reality of extinction that lies directly in the hand of humans. It is hard to think about our greed, our carelessness, the harm we have caused to the creatures we share this planet with. As a person who genuinely finds solace and peace both out in nature and in learning about the natural world, Beasts of the Sea kept my attention and gave me a lot to ponder.

I Who Have Never Known Men by Jacqueline Harpman

 genre: speculative dystopia/science fiction

Our narrator lives in a bunker, underground, with 39 other women.  No one knows how they got there but everyone besides our narrator (called "the child" by the other women) remembers a full life on earth, then some kind of disaster, and then nothing.  Our narrator was a child when she arrived in the bunker, so she has no memory of any kind of pre-bunker life.  She has no memory of physical connection or love from a parent and in the bunker, touching is prohibited.  She is given everything else she technically "needs" but emotionally, she essentially raises herself, trying to learn all she can from the women who are willing to share what they can from a past in a place they have determined they will never see again.  

What an incredible listen.  Speculative is a good word to describe it - it is a book with really no answers, only questions, but they are questions that often dig into the raw bits of what it means to be a human being.  The book is translated from French but the writing still has a stilted quality, at first it's a bit jarring, but by the end it makes so much sense, reading the memories of this woman who has had to figure out so much on her own.  It made me have some really existential thoughts about what IS the point of being human?    How much of what we learn is from the society and culture around us and how much is intrinsic to what we are born with?  I actually really loved this science fictiony look at humanity and womanhood and the profound pleasures of both curiosity and connection.

Also, I listened to the audiobook of this version and there is a really interesting afterward that really expanded my thoughts on the book.

The Phoenix Pencil Company by Allison King

genre: magical realism

Monica Tsai loves coding on her computer - not only does it stretch her brain and make her happy, but she feels like what she's working on can really help people.  The project she's working on with her professor, called Ember, will hopefully one day be a way for the internet to really help people connect in a visceral way.  Coding also helps her avoid thinking about the thing that is most stressing her out: the aging of her beloved grandparents that raised her.  When she is able to use her computer to help find her grandmother's long lost cousin in Shanghai, it sparks a friendship with someone new as well as a window into the history of her family and the pencil company they once owned in China.  

This story, told both in real time and letters, in a story in two time periods.  While we are experiencing Monica's contemporary life and slow burn sapphic love story, we are also experiencing life in China before and during the First World War through the eyes of Monica's grandmother Yun.  The special magical ability Yun and her cousin Meng learn from their own mothers will start a chain of circumstances that proves to separate them in ways both large and small.  

What an intriguing premise and interesting story!  I loved Monica's crotchety old Grandma Yun, especially on the audio she is such a strong presence, her heart full of so much pain from the trauma she's endured and the choices she's made.  This book is, ultimately, about owning our own stories and about the power of forgiveness to help us move on and continue to create the kind of life we most want.  I loved the pencil company thread and even their ability was unique in a way I did not expect.  There is a bit of a strange turn that it takes about 2/3 of the way through that I didn't quite understand but I decided to let my questions fade and just enjoy it for what it was.  I feel like I learned more about Chinese history and found even more sympathy for the families that called it home during so many different conflicts.