All of Us with Wings by Michelle Ruiz Keil

 genre: new adult magical realism

Xochi arrived in San Fransisco alone - so alone.  Fleeing from a painful past and ready to try and take charge of her life for the first time in her seventeen years, Xochi takes a job as a companion/nanny to Pallas.  Pallas is an extraordinary twelve year old girl, wise beyond her years but living in a house full of grown ups - only two of whom she's related to - and having Xochi around has allowed her to be a child for a little longer. Except, Xochi's pain is deep and complex and when she an Pallas accidentally summon two fae into the real world, Xochi is going to have to start to face the experiences that made her who she is.

This is a hard one to talk about, truthfully. There is so much that's just deeply uncomfortable about it - an age-inappropriate relationship, sexual assault,  upsetting images - that unfortunately it sort of overwhelmed for me all that is beautiful and gloriously healing about it.  The writing is luscious, the San Francisco setting palpable, the imagery and anthropomorphism of one of the characters was so intriguing and I do love a "family you choose" story.  I really appreciated watching Xochi's slow realization of all that had happened to her and that it wasn't her fault.   But between the drugs and the heaviness of rape and assault and the choices Xochi makes when she's a mess, it's hard to read.  The romance in it is so uncomfortable, I wouldn't even call it romance.   I can't give it more than three stars.  I wouldn't hand this to a teenager unless I knew they could handle and would be aware of what in it is not okay.