genre: memoir
I found Tia on Tik Tok right around when the Shiny Happy People documentary on Netflix came out. Her own personal experience from within the fundamentalist Christian movement made for some very interesting and heartbreaking content. A Well-Trained Wife is the story of her early life and how that primed (groomed?) her for being the wife of a man who truly believed that women are designed by God to be inferior to men. Her husband's language and way of holding Tia down was so discomfiting and hard to listen to. His violence, both physically and emotionally, really makes you think about what can go on behind the closed doors of families who seem to have everything together. But the more Tia tries to be the BEST wife so she can make her husband happy, the more that whole concept breaks down. Being perfect, doing everything PERFECT, still isn't enough to keep her safe.
The last portion of this book, about her healing, is powerful. SO powerful. It is such a testament to the capability of therapy modalities and, even more so, human resilience. Her internal journey is as important as the momentous choices she makes to find safety with her kids and I honor it. Listening to the way that the Patriarchy and Christianity are used to put women in a box is INFURIATING. Like, makes me want to light something on fire with my rage. And the fact that women can literally be complicit in this abusive system is so hard to wrap your brain around. But Tia helps us understand how it can happen. Her writing is sometimes a bit flowery but I usually liked it. I think it could've been edited a tiny bit more to tighten it up but otherwise, this was a captivating listen.
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